So I decided I hate school a lot. I mean I already knew I would but recently I decided that I have this deep hate for it. It haunts me in the night. Stresses me out. Does NOTHING for me and my happiness. I want to be able to breathe but guess what gets in the way? you guessed it! Its so mean to me. I think school to me is like that bully kid that always was out to destroy you and somehow always seemed to prevail. I think school has it out for me? maybe because I had such a bad attitude from the beginning? I mean I tried to give it a chance but what did it do to me? IT RUINED MY LIFE! It made me lose friends become boring and got me all in a bad mood. It ruins my weekends because it has made its way into every part of my life. Its such a selfish thing that school. I hope it dies. AAARRRRGGGGG!!!!
Ok I think I got a little dramatic BUT if you can just see maybe a little bit of how much i really dont like school...maybe you can try to understand how I feel.
Thats all I just needed to vent.
Enjoy your week!
RQ :)
Monday, October 18, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Dear Mr. Perfect,
One day I will find the perfect guy.
He is out there somewhere.
Im waiting for you mr perfect :)
Rebecca Quinn Harrison
Monday, October 11, 2010
New sheets
I just changed the sheets on my bed and you can't even imagine how good it feels to climb into bed with clean and soft sheets. I will for sure sleep good tonight.
The reason I say all of this is one, because it seriously feels amazing, and two, because it kinda paints a picture of my week/ weekend.
This whole week has been so hard for me dealing with school (midterms, people, teachers...etc.). Mostly people (go figure). You see there is always that one friend that treats you like crap for no reason or for a reason that is stupid, and it makes you angry because what the heck are they thinking right?! Wrong. They don't think. They are dumb. Ok no not really. But still. Anyways, to make a long story short, I just had a bad week with a situation between a friend thats a guy who I thought had a thing for me but it turned out he still has a thing for his x which is totally ok with me. The problem I had was that he acted like he liked me one day and then wouldn't talk to me or even look at me the next. It just frustrated me and made me feel like a loser for being even remotely flattered. Its not flattering when a guy flirts with you or acts totally interested when you come to find out that he is just doing that to make his x jealous. HELLO! How does that make me feel? Pretty? Special? Likable? anything? yeah no. Awful. Thats how I felt. I felt Awful. Another guy using me to get over his stupid relationship issues. As if I didn't already think to myself everyday how hard it is to be single sometimes. Don't get me wrong. It has its perks. But thats beside the point. The point is I was used and it made me feel terrible which in turn made my weekend terrible as well. So that was my week. I left school realizing that thats all that it was about. It wasn't because I was worth it to him. I was just the girl that would make the other jealous. NOT FLATTERING AT ALL. Sad story. BUT! here is where it gets good. It all starts with one word Weekend.
Yes this word brings on a whole new paragraph (haha)! Friday I drove home in silence thinking about the week and the weeks leading up to it. I hadn't realized that I had been so blind to the truth of the whole situation. Least to say I had a quiet drive home that day (yeah i might have shed a tear or two but thats beside the point) I felt worthless and ugly and stupid for falling into another dangerous trap from these so called "con artists". Thats what I like to call them. This is the happy paragraph though so here comes the sun people....are you ready?! well its not going to be that sunny. Maybe partly cloudy? rahhhh ok. So Im driving. Im almost home and Im praying to God, well more like venting, and Im saying "why me? all this time I have waited and waited. I've been single my whole life waiting on you to bring in the right guy. Infact that doesn't even matter to me, I could just use some good friends. I feel like there are no good guys left. they are all jerks. WHY ME UGGGHHHH?" rude I know. I shouldn't have been talking to Him like that. But I did. And in my mind I was thinking "I don't deserve to have a great weekend. I have made some mistakes as well in the past and I haven't been asking for Gods help for sure. Taking the world on by myself, again." So how does He respond? Kindly. In the most perfect way ever. I was so undeserving. That same day i get a text from my good friend saying that he was going to be at group that night which made me happy because I hadn't seen him in so long and he is such a great friend. I not only got a text from him but from many other good friends that I thought didn't care (ok they cared but I was being over dramatic) but it turns out they do. I went to group (its a college group at a church) and had a great time. I was invited to go out after with some guys that I thought didn't even know that I existed (sweet boys, ahem, men). The best part about it? I felt included. Likable. Pretty. Like I was fun to be around and not the scum of the earth. Its amazing how words and actions so simple can bring someone up so fast. I knew that God was showing me that He cared and that He wanted me to see that there are great guys out there. My weekend went from having dirty sheets to clean and fresh ones so quickly.
God likes to show us how much He cares about us through things like this. He not only showed me how much he loves me and cares but He also helped me to realize that I don't need a guy thats going to treat me like crap. I don't need to settle. He has someone out there who is perfect for me. Who might that be? I have no idea. heck I might already know them, but the point is that God has everything under control and if you just trust Him and seek Him he will reveal His plan to you (even if its not in your timing). He will.
Now Im going to sleep in my clean sheets that are so comfortable. I will dream of good things. And probably sleep like a baby. A baby that sleeps well.
Thanks E for being such a great friend to me. I know you don't know it but you totally made my weekend :)
-Rebecca Quinn-
The reason I say all of this is one, because it seriously feels amazing, and two, because it kinda paints a picture of my week/ weekend.
This whole week has been so hard for me dealing with school (midterms, people, teachers...etc.). Mostly people (go figure). You see there is always that one friend that treats you like crap for no reason or for a reason that is stupid, and it makes you angry because what the heck are they thinking right?! Wrong. They don't think. They are dumb. Ok no not really. But still. Anyways, to make a long story short, I just had a bad week with a situation between a friend thats a guy who I thought had a thing for me but it turned out he still has a thing for his x which is totally ok with me. The problem I had was that he acted like he liked me one day and then wouldn't talk to me or even look at me the next. It just frustrated me and made me feel like a loser for being even remotely flattered. Its not flattering when a guy flirts with you or acts totally interested when you come to find out that he is just doing that to make his x jealous. HELLO! How does that make me feel? Pretty? Special? Likable? anything? yeah no. Awful. Thats how I felt. I felt Awful. Another guy using me to get over his stupid relationship issues. As if I didn't already think to myself everyday how hard it is to be single sometimes. Don't get me wrong. It has its perks. But thats beside the point. The point is I was used and it made me feel terrible which in turn made my weekend terrible as well. So that was my week. I left school realizing that thats all that it was about. It wasn't because I was worth it to him. I was just the girl that would make the other jealous. NOT FLATTERING AT ALL. Sad story. BUT! here is where it gets good. It all starts with one word Weekend.
Yes this word brings on a whole new paragraph (haha)! Friday I drove home in silence thinking about the week and the weeks leading up to it. I hadn't realized that I had been so blind to the truth of the whole situation. Least to say I had a quiet drive home that day (yeah i might have shed a tear or two but thats beside the point) I felt worthless and ugly and stupid for falling into another dangerous trap from these so called "con artists". Thats what I like to call them. This is the happy paragraph though so here comes the sun people....are you ready?! well its not going to be that sunny. Maybe partly cloudy? rahhhh ok. So Im driving. Im almost home and Im praying to God, well more like venting, and Im saying "why me? all this time I have waited and waited. I've been single my whole life waiting on you to bring in the right guy. Infact that doesn't even matter to me, I could just use some good friends. I feel like there are no good guys left. they are all jerks. WHY ME UGGGHHHH?" rude I know. I shouldn't have been talking to Him like that. But I did. And in my mind I was thinking "I don't deserve to have a great weekend. I have made some mistakes as well in the past and I haven't been asking for Gods help for sure. Taking the world on by myself, again." So how does He respond? Kindly. In the most perfect way ever. I was so undeserving. That same day i get a text from my good friend saying that he was going to be at group that night which made me happy because I hadn't seen him in so long and he is such a great friend. I not only got a text from him but from many other good friends that I thought didn't care (ok they cared but I was being over dramatic) but it turns out they do. I went to group (its a college group at a church) and had a great time. I was invited to go out after with some guys that I thought didn't even know that I existed (sweet boys, ahem, men). The best part about it? I felt included. Likable. Pretty. Like I was fun to be around and not the scum of the earth. Its amazing how words and actions so simple can bring someone up so fast. I knew that God was showing me that He cared and that He wanted me to see that there are great guys out there. My weekend went from having dirty sheets to clean and fresh ones so quickly.
God likes to show us how much He cares about us through things like this. He not only showed me how much he loves me and cares but He also helped me to realize that I don't need a guy thats going to treat me like crap. I don't need to settle. He has someone out there who is perfect for me. Who might that be? I have no idea. heck I might already know them, but the point is that God has everything under control and if you just trust Him and seek Him he will reveal His plan to you (even if its not in your timing). He will.
Now Im going to sleep in my clean sheets that are so comfortable. I will dream of good things. And probably sleep like a baby. A baby that sleeps well.
Thanks E for being such a great friend to me. I know you don't know it but you totally made my weekend :)
-Rebecca Quinn-
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