What was I thinking?

^"8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:8-9


     There are times in life when you come to a point of "what was I thinking?" moments. I just realized Im in one of those. The funny thing about it is I didn't know I was that far off until I, of corse, had a little break down. Sometimes little break downs are what get you to realize what's going on thats wrong. I know that I haven't been in a good mood and I was thinking to myself "MY BRAIN IS MESSED UP! WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!", soon to find out that I was just a tiny bit off kilter. So what's the issue? you might be thinking. I'll tell you. I havent been spending a lot of time on this one relationship. It's the relationship I am living for too. Why the heck would I neglect that relationship? What was I thinking? Answer. I wasn't! My relationship with God is number one so why on earth would I neglect to keep it that way?! When your heart is not turned towards God you can tell, or at least I can. I get moody, angry, sad, insecure, questioning everyone and their motives, a pain (to myself and everyone else). Its a bad combo. Now when Im in the word everyday and making an effort to do so Im none of those (well maybe sometimes) I am happy, carefree (in a good kind of way), in a good mood, not a pain... you get it. Its just better that way! I know its sometimes easy to get astray and to lose focus on what is most important (your relationship with God) but when you are in focus and living in Gods will He will honor that. He will reveal Himself to you in ways you didn't think possible. He will show you things about yourself you didn't know were there. He will give you things and opportunities you don't expect. He will give you that love you search for in all the wrong places. He will give you peace in the storms. He will be there for you always. He is never not there. He is your father, your creator, the love of your life. He is the reason you wake up in the morning. He is the reason you are living for. Without Him everything that means something to you really means nothing. Without Him there is no life. Try not to make my mistake and get a little off kilter. Its never fun for you or anyone else for that matter. Its important to stay in the word everyday. When you don't you create problems. 
     I would like to apologize to anyone I may have hurt or caused problems with. Sorry for being ridiculous. I want you to know I didn't mean to say or do anything to hurt you or to make you mad. It was just me in the wrong light. So Im sorry again. Please forgive me. 
     God is my light. He saves me when I need saving. He comforts me when I feel down. He gives me strength to push through the storm when I feel its too strong. He encourages me when I need encouragement and most of all He forgives me when I have done wrong. He holds me in his arms when I am alone. He loves me. I love Him.


-rqh

I know.

     No one ever told me it would feel like this, though looking back now I think its hard to explain the feeling. Its one of those things that you just have to experience yourself. When you watch movies or even people you are close to get this feeling or who already have had it for a long time you think you might have an idea of how it feels and that you know how it goes. No you're wrong. You have no idea. This is no game this feeling. Its the real deal. You may think you feel it at times but when you begin to REALLY REALLY feel this feeling. Yeah. Its going to hit you like a brick wall. But a very squishy and soft brick wall that doesn't hurt but in fact feels amazing. The feeling is so powerful. Its not something that is just there one second and gone the next. No this feeling is a life long commitment. Its something that remains through hard times and times of disappointment, anger, frustration, disapproval, mistakes, and things of the sort. Its always there. Because when you get the feeling you don't ever want it to go away. Its something you will hold on to forever.


      This feeling is so real to me now. I have been waiting on someone to make me feel this way. Its not something i take lightly and that I play around with. I think lots of people look at me and think that I am just young and stupid and don't know what I am even talking about. But to all of you I would like to say this: When you felt this way... did people get on to you and tell you that you were crazy? and when they did (if they did) did you want to yell at them and tell them they didn't know how you felt? You know when you know. And when people would ask how you knew and you could tell them all the reasons in the world and that you just knew and those people would come back with a "eh your just crazy" or "you just think you know but you don't" or how about this for those of you who might have been like me and never dated anyone else "you haven't even seen all your options yet" ARE YOU FOR REAL?! I can think for myself thank you. And I can tell you this. I don't want anymore options. Im glad I had one and that I took it. Because had I not and just ignored the feeling (which probably would have been impossible anyways) and just kept thinking "eh I'll keep my options open" THAT WOULD HAVE SUCKED. Because guess who I would have ended up coming back to?! Exactly. And not its not just about what I feel. Its about how God gave this to me. I asked for it. I asked God to keep me patient. I asked God to keep me strong. I asked God to show me the right guy. I asked God to give me the insight to know when the right guy came along I would know. I asked God to give him to me all the time. I asked God for so much in regards to this particular guy. I wanted to be good for him. I wanted to be the right girl. I honestly never thought I could find something as great as I did. It all paid off. The waiting. The wishing. The lonely nights where I wished that I didn't have to wait (i guess I didn't have to but I knew that I wanted to deep down). The days where I messed up and wanted someone to hold me. The dreaded proms and dances where I never had a date. The friends that had something I never had. But I see it all clearly now. God was working on me. He was making me the person I am today. He was shaping me. He was protecting me. He was making me whole for the man that I was waiting for. He was showing me and teaching me how to do hard things. Im so glad I waited. Im so glad God gave me strength to hold out for what I got. I can't even tell you how blessed I am.

     I just want you all to know how I feel. I am in love. Yep. Its the L word. Im not afraid to say it. LOVE. I have never been in love before. Its so amazing. Its like that old saying "when you know you know" yep. I know. I have waited for this since I was just a little girl. Its something I have tried to find but never quite found it before now. Im so thankful that I have found it in the man that I did. I would give anything for him to know just how much I love him.

So I say all of this for a few reasons. 1. I am madly in love. 2. Im not crazy and stupid and too young. 3. I have waited and pursued after what God wanted and he has rewarded me for it for sure. And I want all of the teenagers who read this. And maybe even some adults too. Its worth waiting. In the long run when you look back its great to be able to say "I waited for you" and to give them your whole unbroken and pure heart. Trust me. I would know.

      Ethan Harper. I waited for you. You can have my unbroken and pure heart. Your my first and last. I love you forever.
Love your princess,
Becca H.

a lot to say...

ok. i have a lot to say so here it goes...


ethan harper.
the end.


p.s. he is awesome.


love
 rqh

Hate much?

So I decided I hate school a lot. I mean I already knew I would but recently I decided that I have this deep hate for it. It haunts me in the night. Stresses me out. Does NOTHING for me and my happiness. I want to be able to breathe but guess what gets in the way? you guessed it! Its so  mean to me. I think school to me is like that bully kid that always was out to destroy you and somehow always seemed to prevail. I think school has it out for me? maybe because I had such a bad attitude from the beginning? I mean I tried to give it a chance but what did it do to me? IT RUINED MY LIFE! It made me lose friends become boring and got me all in a bad mood. It ruins my weekends because it has made its way into every part of my life. Its such a selfish thing that school. I hope it dies. AAARRRRGGGGG!!!!

Ok I think I got a little dramatic BUT if you can just see maybe a little bit of how much i really dont like school...maybe you can try to understand how I feel.

Thats all I just needed to vent.
Enjoy your week!

RQ :)

Dear Mr. Perfect,

One day I will find the perfect guy. 

He is out there somewhere. 

Im waiting for you mr perfect :)

Rebecca Quinn Harrison 

New sheets

     I just changed the sheets on my bed and you can't even imagine how good it feels to climb into bed with clean and soft sheets. I will for sure sleep good tonight.
     The reason I say all of this is one, because it seriously feels amazing, and two, because it kinda paints a picture of my week/ weekend.
      This whole week has been so hard for me dealing with school (midterms, people, teachers...etc.). Mostly people (go figure). You see there is always that one friend that treats you like crap for no reason or for a reason that is stupid, and it makes you angry because what the heck are they thinking right?! Wrong. They don't think. They are dumb. Ok no not really. But still. Anyways, to make a long story short, I just had a bad week with a situation between a friend thats a guy who I thought had a thing for me but it turned out he still has a thing for his x which is totally ok with me. The problem I had was that he acted like he liked me one day and then wouldn't talk to me or even look at me the next. It just frustrated me and made me feel like a loser for being even remotely flattered. Its not flattering when a guy flirts with you or acts totally interested when you come to find out that he is just doing that to make his x jealous. HELLO! How does that make me feel? Pretty? Special? Likable? anything? yeah no. Awful. Thats how I felt. I felt Awful. Another guy using me to get over his stupid relationship issues. As if I didn't already think to myself everyday how hard it is to be single sometimes. Don't get me wrong. It has its perks. But thats beside the point. The point is I was used and it made me feel terrible which in turn made my weekend terrible as well. So that was my week. I left school realizing that thats all that it was about. It wasn't because I was worth it to him. I was just the girl that would make the other jealous. NOT FLATTERING AT ALL. Sad story. BUT! here is where it gets good. It all starts with one word Weekend.
     Yes this word brings on a whole new paragraph (haha)! Friday I drove home in silence thinking about the week and the weeks leading up to it. I hadn't realized that I had been so blind to the truth of the whole situation. Least to say I had a quiet drive home that day (yeah i might have shed a tear or two but thats beside the point) I felt worthless and ugly and stupid for falling into another dangerous trap from these so called "con artists". Thats what I like to call them. This is the happy paragraph though so here comes the sun people....are you ready?! well its not going to be that sunny. Maybe partly cloudy? rahhhh ok. So Im driving. Im almost home and Im praying to God, well more like venting, and Im saying "why me? all this time I have waited and waited. I've been single my whole life waiting on you to bring in the right guy. Infact that doesn't even matter to me, I could just use some good friends. I feel like there are no good guys left. they are all jerks. WHY ME UGGGHHHH?" rude I know. I shouldn't have been talking to Him like that. But I did. And in my mind I was thinking "I don't deserve to have a great weekend. I have made some mistakes as well in the past and I haven't been asking for Gods help for sure. Taking the world on by myself, again." So how does He respond? Kindly. In the most perfect way ever. I was so undeserving. That same day i get a text from my good friend saying that he was going to be at group that night which made me happy because I hadn't seen him in so long and he is such a great friend. I not only got a text from him but from many other good friends that I thought didn't care (ok they cared but I was being over dramatic) but it turns out they do. I went to group (its a college group at a church) and had a great time. I was invited to go out after with some guys that I thought didn't even know that I existed (sweet boys, ahem, men). The best part about it? I felt included. Likable. Pretty. Like I was fun to be around and not the scum of the earth. Its amazing how words and actions so simple can bring someone up so fast. I knew that God was showing me that He cared and that He wanted me to see that there are great guys out there. My weekend went from having dirty sheets to clean and fresh ones so quickly.
     God likes to show us how much He cares about us through things like this. He not only showed me how much he loves me and cares but He also helped me to realize that I don't need a guy thats going to treat me like crap. I don't need to settle. He has someone out there who is perfect for me. Who might that be? I have no idea. heck I might already know them, but the point is that God has everything under control and if you just trust Him and seek Him he will reveal His plan to you (even if its not in your timing). He will.

Now Im going to sleep in my clean sheets that are so comfortable. I will dream of good things. And probably sleep like a baby. A baby that sleeps well.

Thanks E for being such a great friend to me. I know you don't know it but you totally made my weekend :)

     -Rebecca Quinn-

Old Dog

     My dog is old. Its sad because she isn't going to live much longer. I remember when we went to the pound to get her and I picked her out and got to name her. I named her lucky because I thought she was such a lucky dog because I was going to take care of her and love her so much. She has lived such a busy life. When she was just a puppy she went through a grueling training process where she learned the do's and don'ts about how to treat stuff that wasn't a toy, where to go to the bathroom, not to bark unless she needed something important, and other basic commands ( i like to call them requests) like sit and no and I love you (she wages her tail when I tell her that). She grew up with me and my friends in the neighborhood. We had so many adventures. I remember when I was younger and me and some friends were walking in the neighborhood and this man and woman were walking too and they seemed a little sketchy and somewhat mean and lucky would NOT stand for that so she barked at them and the lady tried to hit luck and so she tried to "protect" us and jumped on her. She was only trying to help and be the motherly dog that she is. Well the ladies husband didn't like that and yelled at us to get the dog inside of the house or he was going to call the police. We were just kids with an over protective dog. Lucky also had a friend the lived next door named Trixie ( her owners were also our best friends ;) ). Her and Trixie are still friends and they love to see each other from time to time.

     

     Later in lucky's life she acquired a little bit of a wild life. While me and my family were on vacation lucky decided that she needed a "lover" so what did she do? She did the dirty with a dog 2 houses down named duke. He was a bad dog. He was a wild dog up to no good. I really don't like to blame him fully for his attitude because he lived a very lonely life outside all the time on a chain. Anyways, while we were gone things between them got a little heated and lucky became prego. What we weren't prepared for was the birth. We waited and waited and then one morning at about 7 or 8am I heard little squeals coming from my room. Sure enough lucky was giving birth to puppies in my room! I had carpet at the time so it was a little gross. We had to quickly get stuff down so that I wouldn't have stains everywhere. It was kinda weird and nasty to watch BUT also really cool. I learned a lot about how much my dog loved us. She let us help. We cleaned her little puppies when she moved on to the next. She was glad to let us be a part of something so personal. She had eight puppies. Four gold and four black. We had to sell some of them to people that we wouldn't see ever but we still got to give them to people we still do see. Since then one of her puppies (that we know of) gave birth to another litter of puppies. 

     Lucky has for sure had a much more eventful life than what I have just told you. But it would take me forever and a day to tell you all of the things she has done. I love my dog so so much. And I know you would too :)

-RQ

Rainy Day

      Im sitting here listening to the original Twilight soundtrack, which is the best one by the way. I am thinking to myself that I would really enjoy a rainy day that I can sit inside and read and watch movies ALL DAY. Rainy with a cold front rolling in.  It just sounds so relaxing, and it would give me time to think. Think, ponder, cry, think some more, ponder some more, think of alternatives, cry some more, and then be done. Thats when the sun can come back out.
      I wish that I could say that since my last blog about me being all "emo" about school that I have made a complete change of pace and that I have fully accepted it. Nope. I am still seeking God and asking Him to help me "look up" and to "lift my gaze". Its such an adventure I'm on. I am pretty sure that this blog will contain a lot of "me conversations". What I mean by that is that it will be more of a journal. I know thats kinda what blogs are but I just mean that its very personal. I am telling all of you what is going on in my heart (well a shorter version). Anyways, I just wish I could have a rainy day. Thats all :)


      -Rebecca Quinn
    

I wish...

I wish that it was 8 years ago and me and my friends were playing beanie babies or legos. 


I wish that I was laying on a yacht under the sun that just so happens to be giving me a beautiful glow.


I wish that I was walking in a park in the fall when the leaves are changing color.


I wish I could dress up like a ninja turtle for halloween and go out with my too-old-to-be-a-kid-again friends to get candy and then trade it.


I wish I could go back to when we made "x-games" videos with scooters, little bikes from the kids department in walmart and a little bit of gel blood.


I wish that I could swing in the hammock while doing school and listening to my favorite cd.


I wish that I could be around a campfire with all of my friends and their friends when its cold outside.


I wish that I could go back to when I had a crush on that guy and he told me he thought I was so pretty.


I wish I could just sit in perfect weather and observe how beautiful everything is.


I wish i could go back to a time when I was sure that I knew what I wanted to do.


I wish I could tell you everything I wish for. 


I wish you knew what I was thinking...


                








 -Rebecca Quinn

9-10-2010?!

Guess what?! I looovvvveeee to sleep in! Wanna know what Im doing tomorrow? well Im going to let you guess ;)

Yes, that was my blog for today (9-10-2010)

Yes, I am aware that the date I just put is incorrect BUT I will probably blog later today and I don't wanna double blog.

-Rebecca Quinn

p.s. today my younger brother turned 16! Happy Birthday Luke :)

Patience is a Virtue.

I have realized that patience is not always as easy as you think it can be. I thought at times that I could be patient and wait for what the Lord has planned. I still come across days and sometimes even weeks at a time where I can be patient and hopeful in that. On occasion I have a bad day or week and I forget who has my life in control.

The future is unseeable. Yes, you can try and predict it or know that some decisions you make can affect it and sometimes you can see just how it will play out BUT you can never know for sure. The future isn't seeable. In our eyes that is. I think this is part of the reason that so many people (like myself) struggle with patience. We want control of things that will happen. We want to know what the right choice is to make and where it will lead us right then and there. Realistically, unless God chooses otherwise, you can't know. I think this is where the whole faith/trust thing sets in. If God let you see everything you wanted and they way it was going to play out why would we need Him? We would be able to see what the future holds. We could see our mistakes and successes before they even happen. We wouldn't need a God to cry out to for help, or to praise when things go the "right way". Honestly life would get kinda boring and predictable.

As you can probably tell, I am on a journey. This part of my journey I am constantly learning that my trust is not in this world or in other people, but it is in Christ and Christ alone. I know that He is faithful and I know that I can trust Him. Its something that I think everyone needs to be reminded everyday. God has everything in control. Relationships, school, work, time, money, and most importantly your life. He wants you to be successful, and happy, but most importantly He want's you to trust Him. With everything.

- Rebecca Quinn

"Old Life"

Sometimes I miss my "old life". The one where I didn't go to college and I could stay up all night and do random stuff. I liked being able to hang out with my friends all the time and go see movies so late on the week days that we were the only people in the theater. I liked going to sleep at sunrise and sleeping past 1 or 2. I loved not having to think to hard in my classes and being able to draw without missing something important. I liked taking breaks to play piano or just to sit there while my brain caught up with me. I liked when I could eat my moms food for lunch instead of crackers or some nasty sandwich i made the night before. I miss my mom, how if I was having a hard time with something she was always there to help and encourage me. I miss my dad, who made me laugh when I was sad or goofed around when I was supposed to be doing something. I miss my brother, who would make me laugh all day long and who would "work" (aka goof off) with me on school until late hours of the night. I miss my sister, who would tell me how hot I looked every day and how much she loved me. I miss my dog, yes my dog, who would wag her tail and ask me to pet her or give her food.

I miss a lot of things about my "old life". I am working on this whole growing up thing. It takes some getting used to... its not easy at all. No one said it would be but still. I guess I just didn't know what to expect. I know that after these two years it will get a little bit harder but also a little bit more fun. I just need to keep my eyes on the prize... no. not the record deal that i will be getting... the other prize. You know? the one that holds the whole world in His hands, who forgives me when I make a bad decision, who reminds me everyday that He is faithful and has my back, the one who loves me? yeah Him. He is my prize. I will keep my eyes on Him and Him alone.

-Rebecca Quinn

"P. Sherman 42 Wallaby way Sydney"

You know that feeling you get sometimes that you don't fit in? Its like NO ONE understands you. Like you can't say something without someone giving you a weird look. Well, i know how that feels. Every stinking day I get those looks (especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays). I can say something that totally makes sense to me and guess what? It doesn't to ANYONE else. Why is that?

I have come up with a theory to help those who know exactly what Im talking about understand.

Here it is: People who don't get you... those people are they weird ones. Not you. So you don't have to worry about what they think. Its them who has the problems. Not you. Your doing great so just keep doing what your doing.

For real though. I was in Psychology (on thursday) and our books have gold fish on them. Riddle me this... is it WEIRD to think of the movie Finding Nemo after looking at that book? No. The answer is no. Anyways, I proceeded to tell a few fellow classmates that I thought of that movie and that I loved it. They agreed. They understood me, until I started quoting the movie... "P. Sherman 42 Wallaby way Syndey" Laughing as I finished the quote and remembering how funny Dory was and how that whole movie had so many quotable lines. Its a classic! Anyone that I know that I am friends with would have joined in and laughed with me. Quoting line after line of that movie. What did THESE people do? Laughed at me and then called me "retarded". Thank you class mates for making me feel so much better about myself.

The moral of this story is this. Everyone has something weird about them. Some more than others but still we all have something. Just because people might think its weird does not mean that it is bad or wrong. It just means that THEY are weird and they don't understand. So go be you. Who cares if those weird people laugh :)

-Rebecca Quinn

Tea Party

Today I took pictures for a tea party! It was such a cute little party... This is Sears! She was one of the little girls at the party :)

Fall

The temperature is just right. You can wear jeans and a t-shirt, be wrapped up in a light blanket next to the one you love so much and be absolutely content. Its fall. The leaves are changing color from green to yellows, orange, and reds. The grass is such a rich shade of green. When you walk outside you don't get far before you hear that crunching sound, you know, the sound the dead leaves make when you walk on them. Sometimes when you know that its that perfect time of day, when the sun is just reaching its highest point in the sky, when the weather is just right, you know its time to make that call. The call to the one that loves you when you are unlovable. The one who thinks your beautiful when you think your not. The one that tells you he loves you every time you meet. The one that can lay there with you all day and you even talk but just to listen in the silence with you and delight in each others company. Him. He is the one you choose to call.

When he arrives you greet him with a kiss. A sweet, adoring kiss that just lets him know that your glad he is there with you to share this most beautiful time of the day with you. He takes your hand motioning for you to lead the way. As you walk towards the back of the house you grab the quilt, the old one that your grandmother made for you when you were just a little kid. Leading the two of you out to the back yard where you spread the quilt out for the two of you to lay on. Side by side, hand in hand you lay there, eyes closed, ears open and aware. You hear the birds singing songs and the squirrels playing games. You can hear the light swaying of the trees and the wind that brushes up against your skin sending a slight chill down your spine. The warmth of the sun is not overpowering but it calms the chill in the air and when the sun hits your eye lids you drift. Drift into a slumber under the warm afternoon sun, next to your favorite person that you know will still be there when you wake up.

Its fall and the colors are changing.

Summer

its summer. go outside. hang out with your friends. have fun.

peace.

Just keep swimming.

Just when life seems to be absolutely as crazy as it could possible be, it always gets crazier. I thought that after I graduated I would be able to relax and just enjoy my summer full of fun activities. Now it seems that I will never be able to do so. I mean, I know that I will eventually be able to but right now I feel like I can't. I was lazy all year and it has caught up with me. I am no longer able to just coast along. I have to work my butt off just to actually graduate. Im so close to done...I can taste it. I can see myself on the beach or in a car with my windows down listening to my favorite CD's. I can see me swimming with my friends or going to see the latest movie that just came out. I can see new songs new art new friends... I can see it I can taste it I can feel it. And then I zone back into what I was doing before. Math. ew. gross. gag me.

Just keep swimming. I need to keep telling myself that. Before you know it I will be free! Done! Having some fun! ha. that rhymed. anyways. Im just going to keep swimming and see you on the fun side of the ocean :D

Life right now...

Do you ever want to just run away? I do, and lately its all the time. Life seems to be really crazy lately with graduating and turning that page of my life over and there are so many things that are hard to let go of. Its like walking into a black hole. Its very scary and exciting at the same time. I like change its fun sometimes to try something new or break a routine but when your about to change everything and face challenges that force you to have to think on your own... well.... thats kinda scary. I guess this is just one of those things you have to do. Its not like you can just give up and quite. Well you could but life would really suck if you did. I think what Im trying to say is that I have been a little stressed and it doesn't matter because I have to face the future in front of me. No turning back. I have made it this far and now its time to do something with my life and make a difference. I can do this...

" Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

"day and night"

I have been thinking a lot about the words "day and night" lately. I have been reading/memorizing/meditating on Joshua 1: 8-9. In verse 8 it says to meditate on God's word "day and night". Those words seemed to pop out when I read them. All throughout high school I have been taught by the church that it is important to have a quiet time weather it be 5 min 10 min or even an hour. I was told that God wanted to spend time with me and even if I only gave him 5 min of my whole heart that he would be happy with that. Im not saying that I disagree. I don't I do believe that we should give God the time he deserves and I know that some days it is hard to make that time. Believe me. I know. It happens often. I get in a rut or I spend my day doing other stuff and by the time I go to sleep I have either forgotten or I was too tired to take the time to spend with God. The challenge that I have been facing is this. God want's more than 5 min of my time. He wants my whole "day and night". I have been challenged to start my day and end my day spending time in God's word. ITS NOT EASY but I feel like thats part of the deal. Its always easier to get on Facebook or text your friend or even just go to sleep instead. But when you spend your time meditating "day and night" on what God has to say to you it makes living a whole lot more exciting. Like I said, its not always easy, but what would life be without the challenge? Who would God be if we didn't have to trust in Him? Im still a work in progress and I am excited for what God is teaching me, but I want to challenge YOU to think about what it would look like to meditate on God's word "day and night".

Joshua 1: 8 " Keep this Book of Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."

Day 1

Today is day one of my blog, which is weird because I never thought I would be a blogger. Sometimes I think that certain days would be very boring to blog about (which is true) but I was thinking and realized that I don't have to blog every day! So thats a plus! Other days, like less boring ones, I want to tell everyone I see about what happened (those are the days I will blog). I thought blogging was like journaling, well it is, but its kinda not in a way. When I journal I know no one is reading it and I feel like an idiot because I never know what "person" to write it in. Like do I write it like Im thinking it? or do I write it like Im telling it? or neither and just write it like its not me and its some narrator narrating my life? Yeah its too confusing for me and then I feel weird about it and give up on it. It end up being very unorganized writing. With a blog, I feel like Im writing so that other people are reading so its more interesting to write and tell about things. Not like Im "talking" to a wall or something. Anyways, even if you don't read my blog I still feel like Im writing it to you and that makes me happy! Just so you know ahead of time, I am not a writer in the sense that I am correct in grammar and spelling. Im mostly usually always misspelling and stuff. So, sorry in advanced. I also tend to put lots of periods and commas and such stuff in weird places because I write like I think it (or say it). So. sorry. <--- see what I mean?!

I hope you like my blog. So do I really. ha! anyways. goodnight :)