I know.

     No one ever told me it would feel like this, though looking back now I think its hard to explain the feeling. Its one of those things that you just have to experience yourself. When you watch movies or even people you are close to get this feeling or who already have had it for a long time you think you might have an idea of how it feels and that you know how it goes. No you're wrong. You have no idea. This is no game this feeling. Its the real deal. You may think you feel it at times but when you begin to REALLY REALLY feel this feeling. Yeah. Its going to hit you like a brick wall. But a very squishy and soft brick wall that doesn't hurt but in fact feels amazing. The feeling is so powerful. Its not something that is just there one second and gone the next. No this feeling is a life long commitment. Its something that remains through hard times and times of disappointment, anger, frustration, disapproval, mistakes, and things of the sort. Its always there. Because when you get the feeling you don't ever want it to go away. Its something you will hold on to forever.


      This feeling is so real to me now. I have been waiting on someone to make me feel this way. Its not something i take lightly and that I play around with. I think lots of people look at me and think that I am just young and stupid and don't know what I am even talking about. But to all of you I would like to say this: When you felt this way... did people get on to you and tell you that you were crazy? and when they did (if they did) did you want to yell at them and tell them they didn't know how you felt? You know when you know. And when people would ask how you knew and you could tell them all the reasons in the world and that you just knew and those people would come back with a "eh your just crazy" or "you just think you know but you don't" or how about this for those of you who might have been like me and never dated anyone else "you haven't even seen all your options yet" ARE YOU FOR REAL?! I can think for myself thank you. And I can tell you this. I don't want anymore options. Im glad I had one and that I took it. Because had I not and just ignored the feeling (which probably would have been impossible anyways) and just kept thinking "eh I'll keep my options open" THAT WOULD HAVE SUCKED. Because guess who I would have ended up coming back to?! Exactly. And not its not just about what I feel. Its about how God gave this to me. I asked for it. I asked God to keep me patient. I asked God to keep me strong. I asked God to show me the right guy. I asked God to give me the insight to know when the right guy came along I would know. I asked God to give him to me all the time. I asked God for so much in regards to this particular guy. I wanted to be good for him. I wanted to be the right girl. I honestly never thought I could find something as great as I did. It all paid off. The waiting. The wishing. The lonely nights where I wished that I didn't have to wait (i guess I didn't have to but I knew that I wanted to deep down). The days where I messed up and wanted someone to hold me. The dreaded proms and dances where I never had a date. The friends that had something I never had. But I see it all clearly now. God was working on me. He was making me the person I am today. He was shaping me. He was protecting me. He was making me whole for the man that I was waiting for. He was showing me and teaching me how to do hard things. Im so glad I waited. Im so glad God gave me strength to hold out for what I got. I can't even tell you how blessed I am.

     I just want you all to know how I feel. I am in love. Yep. Its the L word. Im not afraid to say it. LOVE. I have never been in love before. Its so amazing. Its like that old saying "when you know you know" yep. I know. I have waited for this since I was just a little girl. Its something I have tried to find but never quite found it before now. Im so thankful that I have found it in the man that I did. I would give anything for him to know just how much I love him.

So I say all of this for a few reasons. 1. I am madly in love. 2. Im not crazy and stupid and too young. 3. I have waited and pursued after what God wanted and he has rewarded me for it for sure. And I want all of the teenagers who read this. And maybe even some adults too. Its worth waiting. In the long run when you look back its great to be able to say "I waited for you" and to give them your whole unbroken and pure heart. Trust me. I would know.

      Ethan Harper. I waited for you. You can have my unbroken and pure heart. Your my first and last. I love you forever.
Love your princess,
Becca H.